Am I real?

2008-07-30T10:54:36Z

Not having the job means I've been able to get some things accomplished here. Not much, with the heat, but some. A couple of days ago I woke up with a sore throat and fever. I still feel kind of sick but not too bad. The tree guys are coming. Mon...

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Missing Mommmiedobbbie: Seven Months Today

2008-07-21T20:42:44Z

Days now are beginning to let happiness leak into my life, but that happiness is frequently followed by sudden sickness in my soul: she isn't coming home. She was hospitalized a few times over the years when I was small and more often, lately. I k...

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It may be time to say goodbye.

2008-07-09T23:15:50Z

I started this site primarily to unload the emotional garbage that was piling up around me last year, and then it turned into a journal, and then it became the place I wandered back to occasionally, to chronicle my grief process. It's been less t...

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"She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee..."

2008-07-07T18:31:24Z

I just made an appointment with a "tree preservation specialist" -- recommended by an old friend of my Mom -- a guy who used to work for them. He knows our trees and knows that money isn't plentiful and knows how good they are at that company. Mos...

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Six months, six years, six minutes

2008-06-21T20:36:10Z

Today, sometime in the late morning/early afternoon, six months ago, Mom died. I don't know the exact time, or even within an hour of the time, because I was downstairs eating my lunch and watching TV when it happened. She was alive when I left h...

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Tiny Deaths

2008-06-15T11:22:15Z

Another end of something happened a couple of days ago, and although it has little to do with Mom directly, it hurts much more than it would have, without the guilt I feel about it. Not long after I left law school in 1997 I decided to work on wr...

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Well, here I am again. Hot and sad.

2008-06-08T21:01:18Z

Things have been going OK, process-of-grief-wise. I've been making progress, mostly, and finding my way alone. But this sudden heat and the arrival of real summertime has shot it all to hell. Mom LOVED hot weather, when I was little. I took after...

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QotD: Memorial Day - Not the same. Except for the wars.

2008-05-26T13:13:50Z

How are you spending this Memorial Day? How will it differ from Memorial Days past? This year I put out the flags the way I did after Dad died, and every year since. It was always his job. I took it over, after. And every year, Mom and I would s...

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Haven't posted here for 23 days. But today I feel the need.

2008-05-25T12:36:12Z

And it's not about Mom, or grief; but me and my odd life. I stopped drinking alcohol in the summer of 1997. We had a long relationship, but didn't get along well at all. So I stopped. That was it. A few days were tough in the beginning, mainly bec...

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Replies to make, but first this: Today's the first surgery since Mom died.

2008-05-02T10:39:17Z

I have comments to reply to here - you sweet people left some and I didn't come back to answer them. Each time I did, I started to cry. Such is grief: just when you think it's wandered off, it sneaks up behind you and says, "Booga-Booga!!" I've h...

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